Lately I feel like...

have no purpose.
have no drive.
am not giving it my all.
am slow, distracted, and lazy.  
am indecisive and fickle.
am not happy.

work a dead end job.

can't get hired. 
am unsure of my direction.
don't know what I want to do.
think I chose the wrong path.
have nothing to offer.
want to go to sleep and wake up on vacation.

My self-worth is diminished and I need an intervention.

I don't know what it is but my mojo is M.I.A.!  I don't want to get out of bed in the morning and I can't wait to go to sleep at night.  I dread getting off of work because that means there are 5 hours to kill before I can sleep again.  While there is plenty for me to do between working my second job, exercising, chores, and little projects here and there, all I want to do is eat dinner, have a glass of wine, and veg in front of the T.V. until it is too painful to stay awake any longer.  But I push through keeping myself busy and trying to be as productive as I can.

Every day I question what I want to do with my career.  My childhood dreams involved animals and the ocean or kids and art.  Now, I feel as if I've settled for a career in business and office management just because it is easy.  But it doesn't feel like this is my purpose.  

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to plan and organize and some people think I'm bossy.  Natural characteristics for management, right?

But I like to be creative!  And don't want to sit at a desk entering data and shuffling paper.  I said in my bio section that I love to plan and organize but don't like to "do."  Well this is so true!  I would much rather be putting things together, analyzing procedures and layouts for efficiency, piecing puzzles together, thinking of ways that things can be the best and also that everyone will be happy along the way.  Everything has to look good, too.  

So what the hell am I supposed to be doing?  And how the hell do I get there?

I want to wake up and know I get to go out into the world, use my creativity, and make someone's life a little easier and a lot more pleasant.

Maybe Classy Closets is hiring. 

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post - I'm really in a FUNK!

I am lethargic

I can't get motivated to shake this groggy mind and body

Woe is me 

Current obsessions

I think I am channeling my tween self - I am actually obsessed with a bit of pop culture and fashion trends and it has definitely been a while...

The Top Knot

I saw a mention of it somewhere between Glamour and my Fitness Mag emails - at first I was weary but I rocked it last week (a lot) and loved it!   

White Nail Polish 

Ana from far away, inspired me when she wrote about her recent white polish manicure.  I have to say, it looks fabulous!  

(P.S. Gwen Stefani is amazing and my original tween role model)

"OMG"

I cannot get enough of this song!  Usher never fails.  Heart him.

I've also fallen in love with my new Pumas

The best part about them is they were free, kind of... In case you weren't aware, Nordstrom has THE best return policy - so long as you have the receipt you can return clothes you've been wearing for who knows how long.  I bought a super cute pair of jeans just shy of a year ago but they're too big now (woo hoo!) and there was a tiny (fixable but why bother) spot where the seam was coming apart.  Pow!  Instant $75!  They're super comfortable and have a thin profile.  Now my feet will be happy and I don't have to wear my clunky running shoes!  Score!

Photos from the wedding

My Handsome Date

The Setting: Leo-Carrillo Ranch

Peacocks were everywhere!

Sisters! (aka my aunt and mom)

Lovebirds

The Street Fair

Poolside with a view

Two of my favorite things in the world, 

Mom and the beach

Law & Order roll - Harney's Sushi, Oceanside

A must do when in town!

Goodbye SD :(

My unglamorous life as a Disney Princess

This monster, we'll call her Maleficent after the wicked fairy godmother in Sleeping Beauty (Seems, fitting, right?), has prevented me from getting out of bed to go running all week and it has to stop!

I brought my tennies and sports bras (yes, I wear 2) to California, planning to go for a run along the beach Monday morning before we checked out but I was just plain lazy.  Convinced myself that I was on vacation and running along the beach really wasn't as cool as I was making it seem.  What?  Complete nonsense!!!  I was so f'ing excited to do that and now I lost my chance.  FAIL!

She gets me all the time - I lay in bed, most of the time in anticipation of my alarm going off, and it's as if I am Aurora and Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather are in a full debate with Maleficent on  when I should get out of bed.

Every possible scenario runs through my mind of how I can reschedule, shorten the time I need, minimize to what is absolutely necessary, and somehow believe that this 5 minutes to an hour of debate is going to make me feel more rested.  What a waste of effort!

It isn't until the very last minute I come to my senses and realize that I have completely underestimated the time I need and want to get ready for the day.

So... today is Thursday and I haven't run all week.  Monday it was because of being on a mini-vacation, Tuesday was because I wanted to be in at 7 so that would call for waking up way earlier (no way) plus Tuesday isn't a normal day, yesterday I can't even remember the rationale but I'm sure it was very clever, and today it was a sore throat and lazy body.  

Thank goodness I was finishing a full week before we leave for our trip so I don't have to kill myself going without rest days but I worry that this week off will have screwed with my stamina!

It's ironic how it seems like Simon is the only thing that can get me out of bed when I'm in this state.  Maybe there really is something to say about who your favorite Disney Princess was as a young girl...

But it's all on me.  I need to get my ass in gear and stop living in fairy tale dream land.  Who the fuck invented the snooze concept, anyways.  It's all their fault.

What a Beautiful Wedding!!

It was a story book wedding set at a rustic, Southern Californian
ranch on a warm, sunny day. A live band played while everyone mingled
and found their seats.
Peacocks wandered the grounds, providing a playful and colorful
surrounding.
The altar was shaded by a tree with jars filled with fresh flowers and
hung by ribbons.
The pastor was funny and the energy was lively. The courtard was
filled with laughter and tears of joy.
After the exchange of vows and promises - they even had all of us vow
in unison to be there for Anna and John. Was fantastic!
After the ceremony we all gathered on the lawn for cocktails and hors
d'ouvres and we celebrated this incredibly joyous event. Dinner was
was the fresh, simple, and elegant. The dance floor was adourned with
string lights and the DJ kept everyone on their feet, even my step-dad
Lee!
Planna Anna (that's what we all call her since she is such a planner
and so organized) did an a amazing job putting it all together -
everything was better than perfect and beyond beautiful!

8 a.m. - Why not!

Hell, nothing wrong with a breakfast beer when traveling! I think
hitting the bar in an airport is almost mandatory! Lol

On our way to Carlsbad, CA for my lovely cousin Anna's wedding and I
am so giddy! She is such an amazing woman and I couldn't be happier
for her! I'll be sure to share photos! Have a wonderful weekend
everyone!!